Everyone needs time alone, don't they? That's what she's always said to people when they give her those worried looks. She can't bear those. The 'tut, tut, poor dear, she's never been the same since.'

Such a silly notion, of course she's never been the same since, how could she be? How could anyone be? They made change seem like something to be pitied, not just a fact. Something to be looked at like a curiosity and shut out of decent homes once they had satisfied themselves with a look. Co-workers looked down to keep her from catching their gaze.

She smiles and nods, still, when people asked the dreaded question: 'Are you okay.'

She smiles because she knows they don't mean it, they don't really want to know or be dragged into it. They feel like they need to ask to be polite and hope she'll let them pass with a nod.

She smiles because she doesn't want to sit through their pity either. She wants them to continue along their way and leave her be, leave her to her work.

The work she does is the only thing keeping her sane anymore. The sturdy feeling of a book in her hands is bracing, a reminder of the real world that she's still somehow a part of. Case notes, research to be compiled into a paper that proves she should soon qualify to be a proper Healer. She could prove to her parents that their hard work had all been worth it, if she had any.

T.E. Lawrence is next to the case notes and the growing stack of research on the killings. The one book here that's not something to do with her work, or the other work, because it was a graduation gift. Even if she doesn't fully understand some of it, it's a comfort of a sort to have it sitting there on her desk. (They also say she shouldn't obsess if they get past how are you, but she just has to know, she can't satisfy herself with not knowing.)

'Nine-tenths of tactics are certain, and taught in books: but the irrational tenth is like the kingfisher flashing across the pool, and that is the test of generals.'

She's reading out loud to an empty room for no reason in particular, except that she's lonely in a more honest part of her mind and the sound of a human voice makes the empty flat feel less like a ghost story. Even if it is. Even if she feels like she's living with the ghosts of people she's known and people she's only ever imagined.

Nick. Her parents, whenever and wherever they had existed. The procession through the ward that had reflected the worst of the war in daily concentrated doses. The ten year old boy attacked in the street that had bled out from the wound that wouldn't close no matter what they'd done. Screaming for his mother. They're still in the back of her mind.

What was left to say? If everyone was still here, if they could light her a candle and sing happy birthday...would they?

She thought perhaps that they might hate her; here she was, almost a Healer, and she had never been able to save anyone when it mattered. She's alone. A failure of a person. She's not even real, not anymore, not when everything she says is a lie or a placating half-truth just to get through it. And that leads her to wonder if she was ever real before.

And...that's the thing. She wasn't. She's here, physically, might even be another year older today, but she doesn't actually know her real birthday. Someday she's going to die and take up space under the ground, decomposing. That's real. But the woman under all of that, the physical being, she doesn't think it's real anymore, doesn't think it ever was. Rachelle Brookes. The surname of an elderly couple that took her in, their children had already graduated school. Having a child underfoot again gave them some peace. (They had given her the book.) The first name, something out of a book of names for Muggles a man had picked up in a hurry.

An afterthought, like her. He'd almost given her a boy's name in his haste to classify her and the rest of the people from nowhere.

Most of them hadn't been old enough to remember. Squalling infants, confused kids. She still remembered every bit of it, and now she's haunted by it.

If she had been a better Healer, they might all have lived, those patients...her best friend. The one that had died right in front of her eyes while she stood helpless. Still helpless. Her gaze travels slowly across the wall to the map.

That was the map on the wall with red push-pins that went with her notes, the one tracking the killer. Putting together a pattern most might not see, might not remember. And even that's useless in the hands of someone as useless as she knows she is. It's like sand flowing through her fingers while she can't move; the world is moving right past her and she's just here, just hopeless.

At least if they could be here, she could say sorry. But apologies were usually for the benefit of the person apologizing, a way for them to feel a little bit better about what they'd done without ever fixing the problem.

So really, she shouldn't apologize. They deserved better.

They deserved action, some imprint on the world that made it a little better than it had been. Does that count as a birthday wish? She doesn't have a cake, or real candles, but she'll count it anyway.

'Happy birthday,' she finally mumbles to herself, letting the imagined flame flicker out.

B

The boy walked the halls, his converse covered feet tapping gracfully against the concrete floor. He was escorted by a guard and his boots slamming into the floors with thunderous force, he was almost certain he could feel the building shake with each step. The dank hall was overwelmed with the smell of antiseptic - floating in the air abrasively burning his lungs with every breath. Stopping abruptly the guard turned to a cell, speaking callously

“Morgause Cavaliere, your son’s here to see you”

The guard turned back to him.

“Make it quick” the guard murmured to the tall lanky boy anxiously, who returned his advisement with a detached nod and a roll of his eyes.

He could understand the guard’s hurry, his mother was confined thanks to the crimes she’d committed in the war, they were likely quite anxious to move her to her rightful place in Azkaban. Moving to the bars slowly – it was a risk showing his face, his father could be close by – peering inside the cell he could see his mother settled in the corner of her cell, scrubbing maniacally at her arms with the chemicals that had assaulted his lungs the moment he walked in – muttering about mud bloods touching her and how Voldemort would hear of this and they’d all be sorry.

It should have been a glorious day – so why didn’t it feel right? He didn’t love his mother, or his father either – he’d refused to for years. Yet, standing in front of the barred cell he felt a lump rise in his throat, he should be happy after everything she’d done and said to him over the years… all the things she’d stood by and let happen. She was the woman who never should have had a child in the first place, just as evil as her husband; only, a more covert evil.

To be honest he was surprised she was the first to get caught. She was usually so careful of her outward appearance and how she came across to people. Yet, there she was scrubbing at her own pale skin, her blonde hair matted and dirty – she looked insane. Had she gone insane? Furthermore, was it terrible that he hoped so?

“Mother” he spoke suddenly, his voice possessed little warmth for the crumpled body on the cold floor.

Her face jerked toward him, tear stained and dirty. She would be mortified if she could see herself. Wild eyed she dropped the cloth and crawled across the floor

“baby?” she spoke in a quivering voice “did they tell you what they’ve done?” sobbing as she grabbed the bars, shedding just enough light of her raw arms for her son to see the damage she’d inflicted “mud blood's, they had mud bloods take me, me!" she said scandalized.

He stepped back to be farther away from his mother, her eyes peered at him growing more wild with every moment he remained quiet and unsympathetic. He couldn’t explain his feelings right now, though the boy could never explain his feelings well, even if they were seemingly obvious.

“What’s today?” she demanded

The boy shifted uncomfortably “Halloween” he answered simply

“Very scary Halloween indeed” she said ominously “Only one scarier was the one you were born” she said coldly “It’s okay you’ll get what you deserve soon… soon we’ll all get what we deserve”

She obviously thought she was on the beneficial side of this particular prediction. The boy scowled.

“Good bye Mum” he said simply

He turned to walk away she called after him panicked “get back here baby! Come back here” she was screaming like a hyena.

He turned back calmly and smiled lightly “Make me?”

She stared at him blankly, her open mouth moving without sound escaping, she was always hot and cold. Whatever served her interests best – manipulative and cold, his mother summed up in two words. People used to say he was exactly like her. He hoped they were wrong.

“Oh, that’s right you can’t, because every birthday wish I ever made finally came true – every Halloween I begged to see you like this” he said coldly and then he lied “and I couldn’t be happier” He turned away from her “Good bye Mum, I won’t be seeing you again” he said callously before walking away.

She screamed after him, threatening, bribing and then threatening again. He pulled his rucksack back onto his shoulder and left the dark building back into the light, which seemed far too bright to his watering eyes.

C

It was the middle of the night as a blond girl made her way through the small streets of Hogsmeade. To everyone around, she might have looked like every average teenage girl. But Bonnie had learned over the years, that it was important to look behind the mask, to discover what was really behind it. No one was ever what they seemed on first glance. In her case it meant, she wasn't as innocent, young and naive as one maybe would have thought. No, just like everyone Bonnie was having her secrets. Maybe her secrets were even more dark then the ones normal people had, she couldn't help but think in that moment.

For many years she had tried to run from what she was and what was in her past. Had the running helped her to deal with all there was in her dark past? Not really, if she being honest she even had to admit, it hadn't helped at all. It had probably even made everything worse, because she had refused to deal with her problems for all these years. So that by now she feared she and her life were so messed up, that there was no way back to being normal for her anymore. Sighing silently and running a hand through her smooth, golden hair Bonnie looked up at the night sky as if she was looking for a sign of the universe that she was wrong. But of course, all she could see in the night sky was a pale moon throwing its light down on the small winding streets of the magical town. As well, as some stars that were sparkling merrily in the night sky. Just as if they wanted to taunt her.

Thinking about what day it would be in just a few minutes, Bonnie knew it was probably wrong to be that negative. After all, weren't birthdays an event that was supposed to be fun?

Well, but maybe it was the same with birthdays as it was with everything else. They simply lost their charm after over a century. This birthday was simply one of far too many she have had by now, for her taste. Smirking, she couldn't help but think, someone who didn't know about her secret would now probably have thought, that she was simply one of those girls that hated to speak about their age. And in a way it was true. Never ever, Bonnie would have wanted to admit that she by now had reached the age of one hundred and forty-three. But that was only a very small part of why, she wasn't enjoying her birthday anymore. No, it was more about not having a family to celebrate with and being kind of all alone in this world. Yes, she had friends and of course they always tried to make this day as beautiful as possible for her. But still, not even her friends would ever be able to make this a joyful day for her. No, the last joyful birthday she have had was only a blurry memory in the back of her head by now.

Leaning against one of the walls of a house, Bonnie closed her eyes and tried to remember that birthday now. It had been her seventeenth birthday back in 1872. Life had been much more simple back then, but people had loved to throw huge balls and they had know how to enjoy each day like it was the last.

The memories only came slowly since they were old and kind of blurry. But slowly it all came back to her. She remembered having woken up that morning feeling all excited about what the day would bring. Not to mention, that it had been an even more special birthday then any other, because with her seventeenth birthday she was finally an adult. Also her graduation had not been far back then, so that the day had been even more fun to her then it normally was. Also the holidays had just started back then, so that Bonnie had been able to celebrate at home. The moment she had opened her eyes on the mentioned morning, she had found a huge pile of presents at the end of her bed, as well as her beloved little sister Victoria, called Tori, sitting at the lower end of her bed. Her sister had screamed in joy as soon as Bonnie had opened her eyes and had almost jumped across the bed to pull her into a monster hug, singing Happy Birthday to her. Before pushing presents into Bonnie's hands a moment later. Nowadays, Bonnie couldn't remember anymore what she had received for birthday. But that was anyways wasn't what had been so special and great about this day. A few moments later, her parents, probably attracted by the noise the two girls were making while opening the presents, had walked in. And with them, they had carried a huge birthday cake. Laughing lightly now, Bonnie remembered that next the whole family had been sitting on her bed and had been eating cake and admiring her presents. Looking back at all of the events now, it had probably been the most happy and joyful time in Bonnie's life. After the breakfast together, Bonnie had got dressed in one of her most beautiful dresses with the help of her Mother and her sister. Then they all had went downstairs, where they had spent the afternoon with playing games, laughing and simply having fun together. Also over the rest of the day, her parents and her sister had spoiled her with all kinds of little surprises, presents and attention. In the evening then, Bonnie had been forced playfully to change into a stunning ball gown her parents had given her for birthday. Then her family had taken her to the huge ball room, that belonged to the Valeri's palace like house. Where they had organized a huge surprise birthday ball for Bonnie's birthday. All of her friends and family had been invited. It had been a spectacular evening. On that day, Bonnie couldn't have considered herself luckier. Although her life soon after that took a terrible turn, making this last day of happiness look small and unimportant, compared to the days full of blood thirst and despair that had marked the next years. But still, it had been kind of a ray of hope for her over the following years.

With a weak smile on her face, Bonnie slowly returned to the here and now, which was her leaning against a wall, outside, all alone. To her surprise Bonnie felt now tears burning in her eyes, but fast she wiped them away. She knew her family would have wanted her to be happy on her birthday, even though they were long dead by now. So Bonnie put the small weak smile back on her face again. Catching a glimpse of herself in a dark window of one of the shops, Bonnie couldn't help but notice that she really hadn't aged a day since her seventeenth birthday. She knew a lot of girls probably would have envied her for that, but if it was up to Bonnie she would have given everything to see at least some kind of change. But of course, that would never happen. She was a vampire and with that doomed to always stay the same.

Moving her fingers through her hair she tried to smooth it, before turning the attention to her dark purple dress and her black leather jacket, from which she fast smoothed out all wrinkles. Bonnie would have never forgiven herself to look like a mess on her birthday in the past, so why stopping with that now?

Just as she finished she heard the clock of the small church in town ringing. Signaling it was midnight, the start of a new day, and thus her birthday. Closing her eyes once again and taking deep breath, Bonnie reminded herself to keep the smile on her face. Once she opened her eyes again, she threw another quick glance at the night sky, wondering if her family was watching her from up there. Then she said silently to herself with a weak smile on her face "Happy Birthday Bonnie!"

D

The Jovan Mansion was quiet as the sun crept over the horizon. Well, everywhere but the kitchen where the house elves would be racing around preparing for Kendra's eighteenth birthday. The first birthday she was celebrating at home since she was ten years old. The only thing that could possibly ruin this day was the fact that Kiah was stuck at Hogwart's instead of here with her to celebrate. Kendra knew the party would be huge. Her mother had been planning it for weeks. Kendra wouldn't be surprised if the Minister himself showed up for the celebration. Jade Jovan had a knack for parties. Whenever she threw one, you knew it would be the party of the decade.

As the sun crept higher in the sky the sunlight began to flood into Kendra's bedroom through the ridiculous amount of windows. She'd forgotten to close the blinds on the window last night. The sun hit her face and she groaned, pulling her blanket over her head. Then, just like clockwork, her bedroom door creaked open and her mother's voice sounded through the room. "Come on Kendra. Time to get up. I've brought you a dress I made specially for you. Minnie is bringing up your breakfast. Oh and that annoying boy of yours just came through the fireplace. " Kendra perked up quickly at the mention of Davis. She sat up and smoothed her hair a bit. She'd been dating Davis for almost a year now. When Kendra wasn't at work in St. Mungos, she spent as much time with him as she possibly could. Lately she'd been looking for a house of her own. She hoped Davis would want to move in with her but she hadn't gotten up the courage to ask him yet. Sure they'd been together for a year but she didn't want to rush things with him. Everything had been so wonderful.

"Mum, you do know how ridiculously early it is right now, right?"

[/color] Kendra said as she watched her mother lay out a gorgeous dress on her bed. She couldn't wait to put the black dress on. Kendra's mother was a genius when it came to fashion. Though most of the time she hated Kendra's sense of style, she knew exactly what would make her look good. A small female house elf entered her bedroom as her mother stared at the dress. Minnie the house elf was terrified of Kendra's mother and it showed. Though Jade had never done anything to scare the small elf, the woman just had a very intimidating presence. "Ahh there's your breakfast. Eat up and get dressed. I'll send Davis up. Happy birthday, my beautiful girl."[/color] At that she kissed Kendra on the forehead and left the room. Kendra raised an eyebrow at her mother's actions. So she does have the ability to be nice. Kendra thought with a smirk before letting her eyes fall of the house elf. She still wore the purple bow Kendra had given her years ago. All of the Jovan's house elves had been set free years ago by Kendra but they had chosen to stay. "Thank you, Minnie."[/color] She said as the house elf place the tray of food on her bedside table.

The morning passed quickly as Kendra joked and chatted with Davis while she got ready. When noon came around, Kendra could hear guests already arriving. None of which were the one person she wanted to arrive. She couldn't help but be a little upset that her best friend wouldn't be here today. No doubt the people arriving early were the extended family. Her mother's side coming from Spain and her father's from Ireland. Her mother had invited everyone. "Looks like you get to answer a million questions from the rest of my family now."[/color] Kendra joked, smiling at Davis.

Kendra had put off going downstairs as long as she could. With a sigh, she linked her arm with Davis' and let him escort her to her party. Her mother would have told him to escort her downstairs in this proper way. Kendra was used to the fancy ways of her mother's parties. The crowd waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs made her feel like a princess though. A giant smile spread across Kendra's face as she watched a familiar short blonde push her way to the front of the crowd so she could see. Kiah was there! At the bottom of the stairs, she threw her arms around her best friend. "I'd hoped you'd find some way of sneaking off."[/color] She said. Just like that, their little trio was back together for the first time in months. Kendra couldn't ask for a better birthday present than that.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

Coming of age had to be one of the most stressful situations Zoey encountered thus far. The birthday she shared with her fraternal twin, Damen, had snuck up on her before she had a chance to fully register it. Turning older never set well with the timid Ravenclaw. Exact reasons are unknown. She worried about what life would be like after Hogwarts, worried about being separated from Damen should their careers carry them to different places in the world...Zoey worried about everything.

It's a wonder she didn't have a bleeding ulsor in her stomach from all the worry and stress she goes through on a daily basis. When she woke up this morning to breakfast in bed brought to her by her two younger siblings, Zoey felt uncharacteristically calm. That calm faded once the food was gone and she heard her mother talking about party plans. From there her worry switch was turned on full blast. Parties and people were a sure fire way to make the girl wish she could just crawl under a rock and stay there.

"C'mon, Zo. Hurry up and get down here, it's our birthday party not a bloody pageant!" she heard Damen call to her from the other side of her very locked bedroom door. He'd been persistently banging on it for the past hour in a feeble attempt to coax her out. Zoey was too busy hyperventilating to respond, so the best she could come up with was to throw a shoe and hope it got the point across. It didn't. "Mum says if your not ready in five minutes she's taking back all your presents."

Zoey scowled, knowing she bloody well did not. Seconds later she heard another knock, only this one was soft and not nearly as intimidating as her brothers had been. "Z, if you don't come out Mum says we can't have cake. I want cake so bad..." This was the voice of her youngest sibling, Sophie. She was just a little tyke, but sometimes she sounded more grown up than a six-year-old. Zoey couldn't bare the disappointment in her voice anymore than she could bare staring at her own pained expression in the mirror.

"Alright, alright. I'm coming. Just give me a minute, will you?" Sheesh, Zoey really needed to calm down. She could barely make herself turn away from the vanity when she responded. Her jade green eyes were slightly bloodshot from the fair amount of snot crying she'd done this morning. Not having her father around to celebrate this day really took a tole on her. Markus had been gone for almost five years now and with each passing day the mourning still hadn't fully subsided. Not for Zoey.

Sometimes she imagined what it would be like had he not went to work that day. He'd still be there with the five of them instead of the new husband her mother brought into their lives. Don't get her wrong, she liked Eli okay, it's just that no one will ever replace her father. Damen was the spitting image of him, so everyday she got to look into the same eyes her father used to smile at them with. Markus always had a smile in his eyes for his children, even if his mouth didn't relay the same message.

Zoey gave herself one last once over in the large mirror covering the majority of one of the walls in her bedroom. She wore a knee-length white and lavender dress with delicate flowers embellishing the smooth texture of the fabric. The straps were thin, but they were covered by a washed-out denim jacket that ended at the small of her back. Her red hair stood out against the paleness of her clothes and her eyes stood out against the paleness of her skin. She looked almost ethereal standing there in the luminescent lights of the vanity.

Zoey tapped the toes of her white ballet flats together while she chewed on her lip. It wasn't for her self conscience worries that she'd been holed up in her room for so long. On her birthday, no less. It was because she couldn't bare the thought of going downstairs to face her family knowing that her father would never physically show up. Only in their memories. Taking a long, deep breath to calm her nerves, Zoey finally stepped outside the safety of her room.

An onslaught of 'Happy Birthday's and confetti greeted her when she reached the bottom of the stairs. Sophie started yelling about cake almost immediately and her step-brother, Deven, clapped her roughly on the back before leading her into the dining room with everyone else in tow. Luckily, Juliet hadn't invited anyone from her office or any of she and Eli's mutual friends.

They were all muggles.

The only members of the remaining Hawthorne family that had magic in their blood were Zoey, Damen, and Sophie. Needless to say, anyone outside the circle of their immediate family would find it odd that they were celebrating more than just a normal seventeenth birthday. In the wizarding world, seventeen was when you finally had the chance to use magic outside school. You were legally an adult. Naturally, Juliet wanted to make sure her two eldest children could use their magic and not hide it from the unwanted eyes of party guests. It all suited Zoey just fine.

"Happy Birthday, Zo." Damen said with a smile as he pulled her into a hug and kissed her on the head. All traces of his previous annoyance had long since dissipated. "Happy Birthday." she replied, cheeks blazing from all the attention. He then linked their arms together and lead her over to the massive cake in the direct center of the table. It was brilliant. One side was adorned with everything Zoey loved: books, animals, bright colors, and a near clone of her cat, Nolah, perched on top.

Damen's half wasn't nearly as pretty and had unattractive boy things on it. How on earth her mother pulled this one off, she'd never know. The bakery that produced it must've been given a rather generous payment. Both her mother and step-father were doctors, so budgeting wasn't exactly an issue when it came to things like this. "We better hurry with the presents before Soph get's impatient. She's been blabbing about eating Nolah's head since the cake arrived. It's deranged, really." he whispered into her ear. Zoey giggled behind her hand as her mother approached them both with the first of their many presents.

She opened each and every one of them with great care. Not wanting to crease the wrappings or tear the tissue paper. It was a great turnout this year, she thought. Her mother and Eli's had been a paid spa day for her and one friend, as well as new clothes and a new case for her camera. Deven had given the twins a joined present, which caught her off guard but whatever. Long story short, he wasn't a big fan of wizards. Sophie and Jackson coordinated with a hand-made card and self portrait. Which came out to look like her head was three times it's normal size and had one eye bigger than the other. Zoey smiled at them both and made a mental note to hang it up in her room. Despite it's obvious creepiness.

When she reached the bottom of her pile she noticed a small box with a purple bow on top. Looking curiously over at Damen she noticed he too had one, only his was green. Their favorite colors. Everyone had already given their presents, so this one was a mystery until Juliet came over to stand between them. Zoey noticed tears welling in her eyes before she even started speaking.

Motioning for them to open the boxes, Juliet explained. "These, my darlings, are a gift from your father. He had them made the day you were born and planned on giving them to you on your seventeenth birthday. He would be terribly upset if I didn't fulfill his wishes. It's his way of making sure you two always have a piece of each other even when the world drifts you apart." Her tears were falling freely down her cheeks at this point and it was a miracle she didn't fall to her knees. It was difficult for Juliet to see her babies growing up. Especially without the other half of their parentage present through it all.

Zoey, of course, had started bawling as soon as she heard who it was from. Damen instinctively pulled out a wrinkled tissue from his pants pocket and handed it to her. As she dabbed at her nose with one hand she shakily opened her present with the other. The necklace that laid atop a small satin cloth was encrusted with diamonds to spell out her name on one half of a broken heart. Damen would hold the other half. The twins caught each others eye as they held up the long chain for the rest of the family to see. Zoey could've swore she noticed tears in Damen's eyes too. He wasn't a heartless jerk all the time.

She put the necklace on over her head and watched it sparkle as the light of the chandelier caught the jewels. Tears were absent from her eyes now. Zoey was nothing short of happy as she peered around at her family's bright shining faces. Damen put his arm around her and slipped his present into her hand without drawing anyone elses attention. She gazed at it from a distance and saw that it was a charm bracelet. Dangling all around were cute little silver cats of all kinds. How happy that bracelet made her went unnoticed as the cake was cut and Sophie's squeal filled her ears.

This cold day in October was masked by the warmth and love shared between members of a rather damaged and complicated household. Zoey smiled. Coming of age might be a little easier for her to swallow now.

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